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A startling number of single lady friends of mine have, after reading Craigslist ads that I've written, told me, "If I hadn't already met you, I would totally have responded to that ad."
The optimist in me says that they are simply expressing an unwillingness to cross the platonic line of demarcation in an existing relationship. The more distressing reading of that statement, however is, "I would respond to your ad, but having met you in person, I recognize various undateable qualities that are not addressed in your ads up to this point."
And that's completely fair. I, like most dudes (people in general, but dudes in particular), am unpleasant in a number of ways. You know, not a typical grimy bachelor, I suppose, but certainly helped out by the polish that having a lady around to impress brings to my day-to-day.
Case in point, while writing this, literally just this second, I picked a tie up out of a bowl that still has a little ramen in it. Now, this means that I am a guy who wears a tie, and continues to wear it after work until settling down at his computer to write personal ads before bed. But assuredly it means that I could be trying harder at life in general.
And that's definitely on the short list of reasons to seek out the company of women. I'm not saying I expect girls to be looking for a fixer-upper. Few are, and the ones who are often have inscrutable plans.
My close friends, however, are almost exclusively couples at this point in life. And in many, if not most cases, very complimentary. I couldn't really stretch my understanding of gender roles to figure out what the women are getting out of any of those relationships, but the men have been prompted to gather any number of the semblances of adulthood around themselves.
Health insurance. Pants never owned by another person. Produce in your refrigerator. Multiple place settings of flatware. Clean bathtubs. Laundry separated into separate loads by color. These are the things that a lady brings to the table. A lot of the guys I know are undoubtedly extreme examples of the phenomenon I'm talking about here, but you get the idea.
Anyway, I'm Dan. If you'd like to go out next Friday, I'll get a real haircut instead of cutting it myself over the toilet, using the water as a mirror.
- Location: Suburban Minneapolis
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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I definitely don't think you're "undateable in person"... it's just, yeah man, we've known each other since 7th grade! I think you are actually my oldest friend that I still hang out with. I may have even met you before I met Reiter? And it's not like I hang out with Reiter anymore since he's always coming to town and not telling me.
ReplyDeleteDudes in general could definitely try harder. I am just glad my dude no longer sleeps on a bloody mattress on the floor, that he uses pillowcases, and he even mops when I leave my mop at his house for a month and then bitch about it.
~KK