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Just because I post Craigslist ads doesn't mean I don't read Craigslist ads. A lot of them are boring, as it turns out. But even ads that aren't that fun to read shouldn't be ignored when so many of them repeat the same basic sentiments. So, let me lay down my basic Craigslist curriculum vitae.
Normal guy. I've always found this to be a curious request, but I can't imagine girls actually mean they want someone boring. Predictable, maybe, or at least reliable. I am that. I show up when I say I will, and my life is run on a pretty regular routine. I'm not mentally ill, and your mom will like me if you like her, and probably if you don't. If that's what you meant, then I've got it covered.
Good spelling and grammar. It's mentioned as a criteria surprisingly often, really. I know some really smart guys who can barely spell their names, but I guess I'm not going to complain. I've got a liberal arts degree and it hasn't gotten me a date yet as far as I know. At minimum, I know how to use a semi-colon; there's one in this sentence.
Respectful. As near as I've been able to gather, this means I won't hit, yell, or cheat on you. Right? This seems like the kind of request that makes me question your past choices in men, but I guess the only one that counts is the last one.
Not looking for a hookup. If my ambitions were so simple, I wouldn't be turning to the internet. I've got a watch and a car. I can find a bar and 2am as well as the next guy. Even if this weren't my 16th Craigslist ads in as many days, I think we could agree that this ad by itself has been more effort than a person of average resources needs to put into getting laid.
Willing to try new things. I usually don't, but that's only because I like the things I do now. But I'm also almost pathologically amenable to other people's plans or doing something I've never done before. Want to steal a boat?
Baseball. All right, a guy's got to draw the line. I don't know when all women became fans of baseball, and I like beer and hot dogs as much as anyone. I'm even willing to eat hot dogs and drink beer and sit near where people are playing baseball. I just can't actually watch the game. It's unbearable. Can we compromise? It's almost football season. If you'd like, I can explain the game to you in a condescending manner.
No drama. My concern is that this is like one of those cautionary tales about getting what you ask for. If we go out, and date for a few weeks, and then you're telling me about your former best friend who stopped hanging out with you when she started dating her new douchey boyfriend, and my reaction is to shrug and say, "Yeah, but what are you gonna do, man?" just remember that you asked for no drama.
If there's anything I missed, feel free to ask.
I'm Dan. I'm probably free this Friday.
- Location: Suburban Minneapolis
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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