Don't say "awesome," be awesome - Day 12

Date: 2010-08-15, 3:04AM CDT
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It occurred to me some time ago that there's one trait, more than any other, that seems to be holding me back from meeting a nice girl, either through the internet or through the various untrustworthy methods offered by "the real world."

I don't actually have a problem meeting people. As it turns out, they're everywhere. There's a bunch of them at my job, for example. Actually, my job might be a bad example, because the majority of the women there seem to be in their 40s and also, more often than not, married with several children.

My point is, the real problem happens after I meet them, and the problem is this: I have an intrinsic and unshakable distrust of people who immediately like me.

On my best day, I'm not that pleasant. I'm not, for example, friendly or personable. I'm outgoing, insofar as I'm generally outspoken about things that interest me, but not that many things do. I'll remain silent for an hour while my co-workers discuss reality TV, but if the conversation moves to places to buy sandwiches, I have immediate and deeply held opinions which I will share gladly.

I spite of not being friendly, however, I'm pretty well liked most places I go, mostly by virtue of having interesting things to say and being able to express them in an interesting way. And that's sort of the problem. My natural, if not entirely fair, assumption is that anyone who immediately ignores my negative qualities, forgiving them on the basis that they think I'm funny, is someone who finds funny hard to come by. It's pretty basic supply and demand.

I've found myself, on quite a few occasions, realizing in the middle of a date, that the person I'm with likes me a lot, even though I'm putting no specific effort into it. Let me clarify, this isn't one of those things where I don't feel good about myself, and don't think anyone should like me for me. I'm just saying, for the right girl, I'm more than willing to bring my A-game, and I should be expected to, or else what's the point. A lot of things are easy. Girls should be difficult, to be worthwhile.

I've put a lot of time and effort into being awesome. It seems only fair that other awesome people know it.

Either that, or I should stop posting ads at 3am.

Hi. I'm Dan. I'm probably free this Friday.

• Location: Suburban Minneapolis
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