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Every relationship ends with a breakup or death. That's a depressing thought, right? To be fair, everyone I've dated is still alive and kicking. So I guess the healthy thing to do is to hope that you've learned something from every breakup.
I've had some trouble with that in the past. I've never initiated a breakup, though not because I didn't have cause. My issue is that I've never gotten a clear explanation of why anyone broke up with me. In retrospect, I probably should have asked, but I find the easiest way to deal with rejection is to stop caring, and that makes performing a post-mortem pretty tedious and unappealing.
Just the same, I've learned some things to avoid.
1) The severely unbalanced. I used to claim that there's a surprisingly narrow overlap between girls who are interesting and girls who are emotionally stable. It turns out, auspiciously, that this precept becomes less and less true the further into one's 20s one gets. I'm very calm, and more to the point, very calming. It makes me appealing to girls with dad issues and scars on their arms. I'm 29, and I work full time. I just don't have the time anymore.
2) Organic development. The ideal relationship is one that develops out of an existing friendship. As it turns out, that isn't even a little bit true. Relationships are difficult and awkward and they have to be done in a certain order. You can't start a romantic relationship with someone you're already comfortable being around. I don't know why, but you can't. The attempt almost always results in one person thinking they're in a relationship while the other is looking for a date.
3) Common interests. I absolutely shouldn't date anyone because they have good taste in movies and music. If for no other reason than that it means that I'll keep running into exes at shows forever.
I'm Dan. I know I'm a day behind; I was busy drinking away a case of nerves.
- Location: Suburban Minneapolis
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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