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I've taken a lot of grief from my friends about meeting girls on the internet. Which seems odd, given that my efforts have been, over the last ten years or so, pretty successful, at least in terms of how many of my friends have dated girls I've met on the internet. Really, though, past success, and overall efficiency and convenience have very little to do with my decision.
The main reason I post personal ads is that they eliminate a lot of ambiguity. If you meet someone after responding to a Craigslist ad, there's very little question whether your meeting "counts as a date." The rest of the internet certainly plays its part, too. Since we, as a culture, can no longer use the phrase "going steady" with a straight face, I for one am thankful that we can look to Facebook relationship status messages for clarification.
A lot of people are uncomfortable with labels. I get that, but you don't have to be Noam Chomsky to realize that the labels wouldn't exist in the first place if there wasn't some value in them. I like a general guideline for how to interact with someone. Plus, I'm a lot better at "boyfriend" than I am at "dating."
I've never really had a problem with labeling a relationship. I can see how that could be interpretted and clingy or desperate, but that really has nothing to do with it. It's just that I don't like that many people, so when I find someone I can spend a couple evenings with, without rolling my eyes or wishing I was somewhere else, I can make a judgement about longterm potential pretty quickly. I'm not picking out a china pattern or anything; I'm just comfortable with whatever pace things take after that.
It can be disconcerting, I'm told.
That's one of the side-benefits of this project, I suppose. While I'm perfectly willing to put the project on hold indefinitely, there's at least an implicit indication that things won't be excusive for a couple months. It seems like that might take some pressure off.
Feel free to focus on the immediate.
I'm Dan. I'm probably free this Friday.
- Location: Suburban Minneapolis
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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